I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!

I have recently read some fics on different sites, and the fanboyish style
is just shitty.

However, this is NOT what pisses me off.

It is, that some unworthy assholes, the lowest scum possible, call themselfes
fans of me, but mangling my personality and my being so much that it is completely
unrecognizable, just for their stupid fanboy fantasies.

And as if that wouldn't be enough, they let some assholes that I wouldn't even let
stay in the same city as me, molest my body to satisfy their sick fantasies.

TO MAKE ONE THING CLEAR:
You cannot be a fan of me, if you destroy my personality without reason, and let
me screwing around with assholes that I cannot stand.

SO SEARCH FOR ANOTHER REDHEAD TO PLAY YOUR SICK FANTASIES WITH!

You want to be an Asuka-fan?
Then respect my personality, or I use you as cookies for my Unit 02.

Oh. A Question for the god of this site: would you mind if I get some revenge after
you rule the world?

Hate, thirst for revenge, those are feelings which strengthen the dark side.
You shall get your revenge.

Good. THEN TAKE OVER THIS FUCKING PLANET!! I WANT TO GO ON A KILLING SPREE!!!!

HI!
My name is Sour-You Asuka Langley.
I'm a creation of the evil owner of this site.
After he read some fics where Asukas name was frequently mis-spelled, he had
the idea to create me.

Although I only exists because of the mistakes of others, I'm proud of myself.
And so, my name will be program.
I WILL BE SOUR AT YOU ALL!

Especial at my creator, but has me in his hands.
He threatened that he write a fic that has 3 chapters.
In the first chapter I go riding.
In the second I have very detailed sex with the horse.
And in the third I will consider it as my soul mate.
THAT SICK SITH!

Considering this, I have decided that I will spare him as much as possible.

But he also gave me a reward for this promise.
I can insult anybody, can blow off my steam at every topic I consider worthy.
It can be a bad fic, or something in the news.

And you better send some feedback!
Or else I will be removed, deleted, forgotten and annihilated.

So, that's it for this session.